Complete Dependence

Senior Year

2010-10-11T23:04:00.000-07:00

Hello again, everyone!
Once again, it's been a while since I've posted anything on here. I think I'm worse than my sister. :D (Just kidding, Jen). :P I love it when you post to your blog.
I've recently started my Senior year at Dordt College, and am already nearly halfway through the first semester. Time passes so quickly.
Life is busy - I'm taking 18 credits this semester, am trying to stay on top of school work, grow in faith and knowledge and wisdom in Christ, patiently wait for and plan a wedding, grow in relationship with Jesse, spend time with roommates and friends, and do a little work here and there. All in all, there are nights when I get little sleep.
I'm taking 6 classes this semester, and am enjoying them all, though it seems every week I am threatened to be buried in the amount of reading that I have to do. I am taking Foundations of Missions and Evangelism, Introduction to Theatre, Eastern Asian History, 20th Century Theology, Gen 300, and Foundations of Worship. I am learning a lot; both from my classes, and about time management - what's doable and what isn't. I am thankful for God's grace to me thus far in the semester, because I was not anticipating being able to transition into such an academically focused year so gracefully and easily.
God is teaching me a lot about practical Christianity in every day life also: we are called to make purposeful decisions each and every day. We must seek to choose to be for Christ, because of our sinfulness, it does not come naturally, which I am seeing more and more in myself. I have come to witness the power of reading God's word. If we don't know it, how do we expect to live by it? This is something I have wrestled with much, and still do wrestle with. It becomes more of a joy every day though, thanks be to God! I pray He will continue to stir in me a hunger and dependence on it, and that I may abide in and be nourished in Christ as I grow in His word.

On a different note, for those of you who don't know: Jesse and I have decided on a date for the wedding - It will be June 4, 2011 at Zillah Faith Community Church in Washington. :) I've had a countdown on facebook for the past while, as some of you can attest to, but I'm actually not sure of how many days are left right now - 237ish would be my best guess at this point. I am very excited to marry my best friend.

My bed beckons. For those of you who have been through college, when your bed beckons at 1:20 in the morning, you head it's call.
Good night and God bless.

Big Events!!!

2010-05-24T19:01:00.000-07:00

Hello all!
It's been a very long time since my last post. Much has happened in the past school year. I was an RA in East Hall, and was so enormously blessed by all my girls. At the beginning of the ye
ar I came in questioning why God had brought me into this position because I didn't feel equipped or up to the task. At the end of the year I left the position wondering why God had chosen me for the position, because I had the opportunity to be so blessed by so many wonderful people and through difficult yet growing circumstances - I didn't deserve it at all. All in all, I am a very different person than I was at the beginning of the year, as I'm sure many of you who know me can attest to.

Another exciting event that occured this past year, was my engagement to a most wonderful, most amazing man that I am so blessed to have the love of and to be able to love: Jesse. For those of you who haven't heard the story:
Jesse and I decided to go for a picnic lunch one day at Children's Park. (For those of you who don't go to Dordt or aren't familiar with the area, Children's park is near the public grade school - I think it's called Kinsey Elementary.)
We had a picnic lunch of sandwiches, chips, juice, and something else - I don't remember what it was exactly. Those details are kind of fuzzy now. :D We ate and talked and joked around. After we finished eating our lunch, I had my heart set on going down the slide at the playground near the table where we were sitting. I told Jesse I would race him to the slide! We raced there, I got the bottom of the ladder, and he said he would catch me at the bottom of the slide. I said okay, and went quickly up the ladder. I slid down the slide (it was a twirly one), and Jesse was waiting for me at the bottom. He was waiting for me at the bottom down on one knee. He was waiting for me at the bottom down on one knee with a little black box in his hand. He was waiting for me at the bottom down on one knee with a little black box in his hand that had a white gold ring inside.

AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!! XD

And then He asked me if I would marry him, and spend the rest of my life with him. I SAID YES, OF COURSE! :)
We walked back to Dordt, and stopped and prayed together to ask God's guidance, and blessing. Then we went and called everyone in our families, and found close friends, to tell them the good news. One day later it seemed as if ALL of Dordt had heard the news, and we received hundreds of congratulations and blessings. (I think my favourite reaction was a combined reaction of Faith and Lindsey/Megan and Elizabeth. They are a joy and a tie in my book. Priceless and memorable. Love you girls!)

If you'd like another story - you should sometime ask how Jesse plotted with one of our friends (Austin) to get my ring size - it's really quite the tale. :)

Annointing

2009-08-21T07:53:00.000-07:00

Hello Everyone!!
For those of you interested: my week of training to become an RA has officially ended. After going through a week of camping, seminars, times of worship, lack of sufficient sleep, many blessed times, and being commissioned and anointed, I'm finally beginning to feel prepared for the position of leadership and partnership God has called me to this coming school year.
When I came back to Iowa to begin my training for RA, I was wanting to trust God with my concerns about being an RA, but still wasn't certain what his vision was for me in the lives of these young women, or for me in general; and I was afraid and nervous of what was to come. I think nervousness for what is to come is natural, (one of my high school teachers told me that if you don't get nervous about something, then you probably don't care about it too much. I think there is some truth to that.) The problem was that my fear was leading to anxiety and lack of trust in God to do what was best. Thankfully, over the course of this week, God conquered that fear with love and care by his Holy Spirit moving both through other people, and not. He encouraged me by my peers, and through his word spoken through different vessels throughout the week.
Also, now that I have gained practical information for this coming week, I feel better prepared to meet the different challenges I may face this coming year (though I pray many of the things I have been prepared for will be absent from this wing, floor, building, and campus.)
The thing that I felt most prepared and encouraged me this week happened last night (Thursday the 20th of August.) All Resident Life Staff took part in a commissioning service.
I will not try to explain everything that went on there, because I can't. I can explain the setting in which we worshiped in song, prayer, and in being reminded symbolically of our being anointed by the Holy Spirit in Jesus Christ. I cannot explain how the Spirit moved amongst and through those there, I cannot explain the hearts lifted in devotion and in unity to worship the Lord; only God almighty knows the mystery of these things.
Hands were laid upon those called forth in the name of the Lord,
Foreheads glistened with oil of frankincense and myrrh,
Prayers, hearts, and hands were lifted high.
Thank you, Father. Thank you.

Needless to say, not many wanted to wash their foreheads after our ceremony. Praise God that the Holy Spirit is with us at all times, because he has been poured out upon our entering into the family of God through Jesus Christ. The oil is a symbol of what God has already done. Praise him! Praise the Lord Most High!! He is worthy of all we have to offer.

Two Words that Cannot be Understood by Man: God's Love

2009-07-04T11:30:00.000-07:00

All my life I've been hearing that the most important relationship I can have is one with Jesus Christ. It's true, it's through Christ that I am saved, that I have been redeemed, that sin no longer has power over me; that I am in Christ, and he is in me. For years I've known this in my mind, but I've been wondering, what does a relationship with Christ look like? What fruits are born of this joyous unity?
For so long (I know I'm only 20, but it seems like so long) I've been reading scripture trying to understand what it means, trying to understand what all these letters that make up words, that make up sentences, that make up verses and statements from the mouth of our God, what do they mean? I've reasoned and logicised, and have come to the conclusion that I don't understand. At least now I understand that I don't understand. What does one do when they don't understand? Well, if you're like me, proud, you don't ask for help. you go round and round stubbornly fixed on figuring it out. There has to be an answer and I have to find it! And then we do! Or so we think.

But that's not the answer at all.

I think, I don't know, but I think, that when we think that we have the answer we can be no farther away from truly knowing it. I think that when we think we finally understand God, then that is when we are most greatly mistaken. I think that the one thing we can be completely sure of in understanding God, is that we, as sinful human beings, will never be able to grasp the mind, or see into the heart of our God on our own. We have assuredness in the Holy Spirit and in God's Holy Word that every word in it is true. I believe that. I believe that through scholarly studies of scripture we can come to understand God better, and better understand what he is saying to us, but you can be a scholar of the Bible and remain unsaved and have no relationship with Christ.
It is not until we come to Christ, lay down our lives and previously formed conceptions, and say that we don't understand the great Creator of the Universe, that we acknowledge his mysetery and grandieur, and that we don't understand his love, or what it means to love him, or see into his heart; it is when we acknowledge that we were afraid to stand in the presence and the glory of the Holy King who is above all because we don't deserve to be able to, but claiming the grace that God has lavished on us in his Son, Jesus Christ.
It is because of God's great love, and Christ's mediating and loving sacrifice that we can even think of entering the throne in which God the Father, and his Son sit. This is a great love that we cannot understand. While we were sinners, while we hated him, Christ died for us. To forgive us, to save us, to restore us to a loving personal, intimate relationship with our awesome Creator God - a relationship that he originally designed for us with him.
Our God is bind boggling.
Our God is mysterious.
Our God cannot be understood by the minds of men.
Our God cannot sin.
Our God will never stop loving.

Our God adores you.
He delights in you.
Our God may seem too good to be true - but nothing has ever been truer or greater.
Our God invites us into him, and he comes into us; to surrender our lives to him, and be changed in a frightening and glorious way; to be blown away by all of who he is, yet to come to understand him better than we ever have each day; to be loved, adored, shaped, prodded, disciplined, and through all this, restored. It's easy to lose sight of in the busyness of the day, in the sorrow and the pain, in the confusion; but he remains in the midst of it all, and in his patient love, he waits for us to come to him once more, after searching for every other way - we finally turn back and realized again that he is what we have needed, what our hearts have been longing for, and it is he, in HIS love, who has turned our hearts back to him.
If you are looking for a mystery, then look no further. The more we come to understand our Great God, the more we realize that we have never really understood him well at all. The more we come to know, the more we realize how little we really knew. The more he shows us our sin and blindness to him, and the more he shows us his grace - the more boggled our minds become.
It's a wonderful confusion.
Praise the Lord almighty for his wondrous and sovereign reign and love over all.
Every knee shall bow and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord.

To My Fellow Doubters of God's Power to Heal Miraculously

2009-06-16T09:30:00.000-07:00

You may be a bit confused my title. Notice I put "To My Fellow Doubters." Miraculous healing isn't something often talked about in Christian circles. If it is talked about it is often within the context of the Gospels of the New Testament, but to talk about miraculous healing in the context of today causes most people to turn on their skeptics radar. Don't get me wrong; I believe in the Yahweh, the Lord of all, and I believe that he healed thousands, and I believe that, yeah, he's miraculously healed people in this day and age. Of course - he's the Great Physician, he can do all things, right? There's just no way he could do something like this for me or anyone close to me, it just doesn't happen.
Now, most of us won't admit that this is our attitude: we believe that God is all powerful - but do we really trust him and believe that he will heal us if we sincerely ask him to in prayer? In all honesty, I didn't. And I ashamedly admit that I still struggle with doubting God in this. I have a story, a true story, to share with you. You may choose to believe it, or disregard it, but please, do not doubt the awesome healing power, adn the goodness, faithfulness, and grace of our Awesome God.

As some of you know, my intramural indoor soccer team, of which I was the goalee won the college championship game this past winter. In order to get to the championship ga,me, you need to go through the semi-finals, in both these games, you face the more difficult and talented teams in the "league" if you will. For all of you non-goalee's or non-soccer players out there, it can be a very rough and physical job. There's a lot of diving on the ground, getting a rather large, fast moving objectile kicked at you can be rather painful; even for a young person. As you can imagine, it was very hard on my body - all my joints were sore - but my back in particular was giving me a lot of trouble after our last semi-final game.
It was sore all the time, and always irritated. Sitting in hard chairs hurt, especially for long periods of time (like classes). I couldn't sit in one position for very long (an even shorter amount of time than normal.) It was painful, and it wasn't going away. It continued for about two weeks at the same rate - not terrible, but definitely hurting, sore, and there. Massages felt good, but they didn't really help.

One day, after Jesse and I met with Pastor Rod as we do every other Monday, we were sitting and talking. He asked me how I was doing - and I told him that my back was still hurting. The conversation turned to talking about healing, and whether we really have faith in God's healing capibilities in our lives. We talked about the passage in Mark 9 where the loving father of the boy with the unclean spirit said to Jesus, "I do believe, overcome my unbelief." And we prayed that God would come in to our hearts and overcome our unbelief. And then Jesse laid his hand on my back and prayed that God would heal my back right then and there, claiming that he knew Yahweh was able to do so.
I tried to pray that prayer with him wholeheartedly, but honestly, I was still skeptical. I didn't think God would do it. I wanted him to overcome my unbelief, but I still didn't expect him to heal me.
I am grateful for the faith that God gave Jesse, and I am grateful for God's faithfulness and mercy.
After Jesse prayed for me, right after has asked that God would heal me, I didn't feel any more pain in my back. I thought it was just a fluke - that after I got up and started moving around, the pain would return. We did get up - and I walked and stretched my back, twisted from side to side, still no pain. I said, "Jesse, I don't feel any more pain. It's gone." I still couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe that God had just done exactly what we asked him to do in faith - especially because I was still doubting. God, in his grace, healed me even in my doubt. The pain was gone! All that was left was kind of a relaxed, almost numb feeling.

We praised God, and hugged, me still not really believing what had just happened to me. Jesse was so excited, telling almost everyone we saw that we knew about it. He shared it with different people, even when I wasn't with him. I am ashamed to admit that I was not eager to share my experience with others. What if the pain came back? What if they didn't believe me? - As you can see I still wasn't trusting God, or believing in his power - and while I was in that state - I couldn't thank God for what he had done. I was almost ashamed of what God had done in my life, yet ashamed with myself that I could not bring myself to tell others about God's amazing grace and love demonstrated in my life through this healing.

Praise the Lord! I do believe. Christ has overcome my unbelief in this situation and is building my trust in other situations like it. I will share - not because I want to build myself up or make myself look like an "Amazing Christian!" No - I want to show how humbled I am, and how amazing God is that even in my unbelief, he healed me. I cannot deny that fact. I don't want to deny that fact any more. I desire that he be brought glory through this testimony, however small it may seem. May our thinking this act small, show how great he is that he would care about even the small things in our lives! May it testify to his amazing love and grace! May it show those who do not believe that there is definitely a God and he is good.

I am not claiming that every time we ask God in prayer to bring healing to us or to a loved one, that he will heal them immediately. He doesn't always work this way. Sometimes he calls us to persevere through the pain, trusting in and relying on his grace to bring us through and closer to him. Sometimes he chooses to work through the gifted hands of physicians. Sometimes, injury or illness leads to death. I cannot claim to know why God works the way he does in different situations. One thing, though, is certain, he will be glorified in each one. His plans and his ways are not that of man - they are much better, they are perfect.
Present your requests before God, ask that he will overcome your unbelief, but ask - most of all - that his will be done, and that whatever brings him most glory will be done. I'm humbled and amazed that he would bring glory to himself through not only healing me, but also saving me from MY sin. An amazing, perfect God, is glorified in redeeming us from the sins that we commit against him.
Hallelujah!

2009-05-12T13:14:00.000-07:00

Part 3

2009-02-04T13:43:00.000-08:00

Another misunderstanding is why Christian leaders feel that they have to make church and the gospel look “attractive” to those in the world today, instead of letting the gospel stand on its own. God doesn’t need us to defend him, or make him look attractive, he wants to use us to share his love with the world. The Word is alive and active, God is always moving, and he is not limited by us, he doesn’t NEED us to move others, in fact if we are not with God, if we are trying to obstruct him or the gospel or any of his children, then we are in for a huge awakening, and not a pleasant one. We will be blown away by the truth, falling to our knees and shielding our faces because of his awesome power and glory, and if we still refuse to acknowledge him as Lord, we CANNOT stand against him. To think one can stand against the awesome power of God is damning. At the same time, if God is for us who can be against us? If we are his children, and we walk with him, desiring for his will to be done and seeking his kingdom, then no one can stop us either. That doesn’t mean we can go around, pushing people around, trying to force them to succumb to the power of God. The Gospel preached in the Word is one of truth, yes, but also one of love and peace.
As hard as you try, you cannot force someone to become a Christian, that moving of the heart can be inspired by the Holy Spirit - by God, and no one else. Threatening with death and damnation didn’t work in the Crusades, and it won’t work now. Christianity is not meant to be a threat. It is not for human beings to judge others actions or condemn them to the fiery pits of hell. It is for Christians to share with others the love of Christ and the truth of the gospel, and leave the rest up to God’s powerful moving of the Holy Spirit. God alone is Holy and just, he alone can judge perfectly. He gives us his word to hold ourselves and each other accountable by his holy standard, and even that is impossible without his amazing grace. He transforms us with his love, and his word is alive and active, his law one of love, but also conviction.
It is clear: something needs to change in the lives of those who claim to love, fear, and revere the Lord. Now - we are laughed at because we are inconsistent and unloving even amongst ourselves, when we should be laughed at because of our radical living out the will of Christ Jesus and living to inspire others to do the same.

Part 2

2009-02-04T13:42:00.000-08:00

The Parents of Individuals. Have youth received the rearing up in the Word that is necessary to live a life in Christ? In Deuteronomy 6, parents are told to impress the Lord’s commandments upon their children. So, are parents rising to the challenge? Have our children received the guidance and wisdom and discipline that will help them to stand firm against the things of this world without being dragged into them? Have they been instructed in putting on the full armor of God? To fight the dark powers of this world rather than other human beings created in God’s image, no matter color of skin. A young child needs assistance when learning to dress himself. A student needs to be instructed so he may attest to the truth. An aborigine from Australia thrown into the bustling culture in the United States of America would be lost and confused indeed. Are we preparing our young people to stand out against the dark powers of this world? Or are we showing them by the way we live that its okay to conform to its ungodly standards, deceiving them into thinking there will be no consequence? Because there will be consequences and they are devastating. Children are addicted to drugs and alcohol at young ages, are involved in gangs and drug and territory wars, and are dying every day at the hands of other children. Why is this happening? Out of desperation to be loved the cut themselves, rip their hair out, contemplate suicide, and allow themselves to be sexually abused because they are in need of the love of a Savior, yet they are ignored even by those who are called to care most. Are we introducing them to Christ at an early age and raising them in obedience to the word so that they may grow into a personal relationship with him, claiming the promise given to them in baptism? Are we revealing to them the true identity that they have in Christ? Christian parents are called by God to love their children and raise them in the Word, so that they children will not stray from it when they grow to maturity and begin to make more decisions for themselves. This is their highest calling as parents, should they choose to accept it. It may be difficult, but it will bring greater joy than is imaginable.
Satan - Master deceiver and liar. If you think you have him and his ways figured out, you’d better take a second look, because he has many tricks and has had thousands of years of practice in executing them. The only thing you can count on is that he will be deceitful, and in a most appealing way. He knows what he’s doing, and he knows exactly which buttons to push that will set us off in which ever way. In Scripture it says he disguises himself as an angel of light. It is only by God’s instruction and guidance in his word that we can recognize his attempts to lead God’s children away from the straight and narrow path. We need to live on every word that comes from the mouth of God. It was with scripture that Christ refuted the devil when he was tempted in the wilderness as accounted in Matthew 4; and in Ephesians 6, the Sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God, is the only offensive and defensive weapon we are given in order to take our stand against the devil’s schemes, along with the rest of the full armor of God.
The Youth of today no longer know what it means to truly fear God and his almighty, authoritative word. They have been raised in too liberal of a manner are allowed to do what they want, when they want to do it, at any cost to anyone else, as long as they get what they want. They no longer know what it means to live a life of service and love for God and for others. This is the result of the fallen corrupt nature of man; but Christ gives hope for a righteous life.
What can we do, as true followers of Christ, to remedy this situation? How can we help them to regain their identity in Christ? First off, we can lead by example. Model our lives after that of Christ, and in doing so, be a witness to those around who are in need of the life giving news of the gospel. This modeling, of course, is possible only by the power of the Holy Spirit, living in us, enabling us to see God’s will, and just as importantly, do God’s will, as a result of the salvation we receive in Christ Jesus through his death on the cross. In order to determine God’s will for us in our lives, we must look to his Holy, active, and infallible word, of which he, not man, is the final authority. As brothers and sisters in Christ, we must also hold each other accountable according to God’s word, gently rebuking when in the wrong, and lovingly instructing when uncertain, and humbly saying “I don‘t know“ when we are unsure of the answer.

Work in Progress: Part 1

2009-02-04T13:41:00.001-08:00

What Do We as Youth in North America Define Ourselves By?
The following is an attempt to put fleeting thoughts of how young “Christian” (notice Christian is put in quotation marks) peoples define themselves while living in today’s culture. Is Christ truly at the center of their lives, or are their dreams of what they want their lives to be blinding them to God’s will? Do they claim to have faith yet lack the deeds that reflect that faith, as approached in the second chapter of James? Are they blind to their compromise with the pop culture today, rather than living sold out for the glory of our Abba, Father? Has life become about the grades one gets in school, the necessary spew of A’s printed across one’s report card? Or maybe its about how many points they scored in their last football or basketball game. Maybe it's how many boyfriends or girlfriends they've had. Or is it for that Spiritual high they get when they sing their heart out in worship and at retreats, but then being content to live a mediocre life, and failing to apply all that was instructed to them in the Word? Has devotion to Christ become something that is necessary because one can somehow earn his pleasure? Because that’s not what my Bible says. Devotion certainly isn’t out of self-glorification and what one gets out of it, but what one gives to God as a result of that devotion. It is not only out of duty and respect, but of love, fear, humility and loyalty as well. For who Christ was, is, and shall continue to be; not only what he has done. We should worship God for who he is in his righteousness, perfection, and majesty because he is deserving, not just because of what he can do for us. True devotion isn’t selfish, rather it is selfless. True love is sacrificial, giving of oneself for the bettering of or best interests of another. There is no greater love than this: a man lays down his life for his friends.

So where did we go so wrong? What has caused this confusion? Who is, may I ask, to blame for where we got so off track that we struggle to find our way back?
The Individual. Of course we need to take responsibility for our own actions. Who else can do so in all honesty? We must suffer the consequences that come with the decisions that we make: both good and bad. We are all sinners, and because of the sinful nature born of the fall, we seek after our own interests unless allowed to do otherwise by the grace of God. We have become lazy, unwilling to go the extra mile to make a difference and risk being looked down upon or persecuted. Don’t get me wrong, persecution isn’t what being a Christian is all about, but we cannot ignore the biblical account of Paul, Peter, and others who were persecuted for the life they lived for the sake of Christ and the truth of the gospel; not to mention our Saviour and Lord Jesus Christ, who made the ultimate sacrifice for the sake of his beloved children. In living, it shouldn’t be our desire or motive to be persecuted, but we should acknowledge, and need to realize that when living in this world and not of it, we will be persecuted by those who are not of the light. Jesus is the word and light that shone in the darkness, but the darkness did not know him. Also, Christ says that we WILL have trouble, but to take heart because he has overcome the world. When the world agrees with us and the way we are living, you’d think we’d begin to wonder a little bit, what are we doing wrong? The way we live should reflect to others that we are set apart from this world. Within a few moments of meeting a Christian, or a few moments of talking with them, one should be able to tell that there is something different about them, something in their life that isn’t seen in the lives of those in and of the world: something like life given by the Holy Spirit living within. True life and hope for something more. Are we living that type of life? (I say we, because by God’s grace, I am included in those of whom are beloved and blessed to be called children of God. I hope and pray that my life and the way I love and live reflects that.) Are we living lives worthy of the calling “Children of God?”

When God seems Far Away

2009-02-04T07:12:00.000-08:00

Sometimes God feels distant, and often it is when you are hurting most. Everything in your life seems to be going wrong and you wonder what good could possibly come of this? Why do I have to go through this? I thought that God loved me, but how can a loving God let me feel this lost and confused, why would he let me doubt? Question after question you ask and never seem to get an answer. You try to pray but your mind is cluttered and it doesn't feel like he's listening anyway. What's the point? Sometimes you just feel like saying I DON'T GET IT! WHAT AM I DOING WRONG? I CAN'T FIX THIS! I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE!

God is always with us, no matter what. We won't always feel his presence, and those times are hard, but if we trust in him, and have faith in him then we will not be disappointed. If we continue to seek him out, then he will meet with us. The Lord comes to those who wait on him. There are many good things, blessings even, that come out of the dark times in our lives, even though it may not seem like it at the time. God brings us comfort so we may comfort others. He draws us into a deeper relationship with himself, he teaches us to trust and depend on him completely in all things, and he shows us his love more deeply when he reaches into the darkness and pain to draw us up into the light and gives us healing.

God is always at work. Sometimes he's just bringing us back to him, because like all sinners, we wander from him after our own way - thinking that it's best. It's when we don't rely on God, and we don't think that we need him, that we really need him the most. We can't make it on our own, and trying to do so is futile. All we'll end up doing is becoming proud, frustrated, or broken.
It's not at all about what we do. We are human beings! What can we do? Every good and perfect gift comes from God above. We can try as hard as we like but we'll never get anywhere. We need to give ourselves up to God; to completely surrender ourselves as a living sacrifice. We need to surrender everything to him: our pride, our hurt, and our confusion, and uncertainty.

He wants us to bring him glory in doing our best in everything, but the only reason we can give him glory is because of his grace. We are imperfect and he is perfect. He works in and through our mistakes: How's that for merciful and gracious? He defines mercy and grace.
He loved us while we were still sinners, while we hated him. Nothing we do can make him love us more! Not making a lot of money, not getting straight A's, not having the perfect body by the worlds standards, not being the "perfect" example of doing everything that Christians "ought" to do, not knowing the Bible backward and forwards. He already loves us, we are his, we don't have to, and we CAN'T earn anything from him. That's the amazing thing about God and his love. It is unconditional; he is forever faithful. That is GRACE. And nothing, no NOTHING can separate us from his love.
A lot of Christians say that they believe that salvation is by grace alone through faith, but in the back of their minds they still feel like they have to earn it in some way, yet it's impossible to do; so they get frustrated and feel inadequate. God doesn't require us to be perfect: Christ already met that requirement. All he asks is that we surrender our lives to him in worship. Is that so hard? The answer is yes: it's in our nature to sin against God. Sometimes our pain is like our security, it's familiar, and it gives us an excuse to hold on to it. We will never know true deliverance until we surrender our lives to God and his will. Giving ourselves completely to God is unknown territory, yet its the most incredible, beautiful, unknown territory that can ever be experienced.
You may say, "How do you do that? Time and time again I've tried, but I just can't give it up."
Are you trying to release it on your own? If you are, you don't have the strength to. You aren't strong enough. Christ will take your burden from you, but you need to ask him to take it, because you can't carry it anymore. You need to be willing to give it to him, not hold on to it because it gives you security, or you're afraid of what you'll be without it.

When you do get through certain hard times in your life you sometimes wonder why you went through it, you just don't see the point. Yeah, you've changed, but you would rather not have had to suffer through it, couldn't God have just told you that instead of making you suffer through it? It is through experiences, especially painful ones, that we learn the most. Often God uses what he has brought us through to be a comfort and a testimony of hope to other people who are experiencing the same thing that we experienced. He makes it possible for us to relate to them and their circumstances, and that in itself can be comforting: just knowing that you aren't the only one that has gone through it. It's a testimony to God's faithfulness. He does it for a reason, and God doesn't make mistakes. Also, think of how Christ suffered for you at the cross. If any suffering is unjust, that was. We are deserving of shameful death on the cross and we are deserving to go to hell, but Christ who is perfect in every way did his Father's will and took it upon himself and became obedient to death on a cross, and rose again, setting us free from the bonds that sin had over us.
Our prayer needs to be that the Father's will will be done in our lives and on this earth. We need to faithfully pick up our crosses daily and follow Christ. We don't always know where we're going, but Christ knows the way and he is trustworthy.

"I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father but by me." - Jesus

Apathetic Christians?

2009-02-04T07:09:00.000-08:00

Broken down.
Falling deeper and deeper into the hole that we've dug for ourselves.
Unable to get out.
Rescue us! We cry, just as long as we can stay here.
Let us see! Just as long as we can remain blind to the hurting in this world.
Set us free! As long as we may keep our comfortable chains.
Where are we going? No wait! We're content in our ignorance.
We're unsatisfactorily satisfied with with where we are and who we are inside.
We want to escape but don't know how or where to go.
There's something scary about the truth.
We just know that we need to get out of here.
Too content to hang on to our insufficiency's.
Refusing to relinquish the fears of yesterday and ashes of tomorrow.
Save us from our complacency!
Who are we? This won't do!
What seperates us from you?
Shouldn't there be something making a difference? What's the difference?

We say we're free, but the chains of captivity are still around our wrists.
We claim to be saved, and if we believe in Him we are, but when we're asked to be selfless we start throwing fits.
This is not the case of stolen identity, just a lost identity.
Who have we become?
The menacing beast has fallen, why do we still cower in fear?
The victory is won, yet when we stop looking in the mirror we promptly forget what we look like.
Why are we still living like life has no meaning?
What happened to the passion? The joy? The delight?
The justice? Discipline? Holding to God's word?
Why have we lost our hold on the truth?
Turned our backs on Christ?
Seek first the kingdom! The Savior! The face of God!
Love him with all of your being, your neighbor like yourself.
Elemental my friends......I'm a hyporcite.

Complete Dependence

2009-02-02T20:47:00.000-08:00

Hello Everyone. I decided to join the blogging world, though when it comes to blogging (that among other things), I don't know much.
I am a sophomore at Dordt College in Sioux Center, Iowa; where I am studying Theology and Youth Ministry.
I grew up in Sunnyside, Washington, but wherever God leads me is where I call home.

The title of my blog is something that I think is vital for the Christian life, but it is something that I struggle immensely to do. We all need complete dependence on God, complete surrender to Christ, and to daily die to ourselves. We need to rely on him entirely to provide for all of our needs according to his amazing goodness and grace. In his grace he goes far beyond what we do, and breaks into the astonishing reality of all that God does through and for us - without our deserving it at all.

This is a life goal: to continue to grow to know Christ, and to follow him; every day becoming more aware of how dependent on his providence and grace I truly am. Daily denying myself to take up my cross, and follow Christ; trusting him with my everything. In depending on him and his love, giving myself to him to share his love for all he made in his image - through me. And while I constantly depend on him imperfectly, his grace is enough for me and his forgiveness allows me to stand.
I apologize if it becomes overly theological in your opinion, I will try to make it interesting, controversial, or fun. :)